Today, Anna Harris, reveals her honesty, vulnerability and humility in relation to parenting and discusses the importance of unity in this somewhat challenging role in today’s world. Ed.

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:22-25 (NIV)

Last night, my husband and I had an (ahem) robust discussion regarding parenting techniques.

We disagreed.

For any parent reading, this is no surprise. Two different people, drawing on their own histories, are always going to share different perspectives. This has been ongoing, forever. But last night’s conversation has me thinking about my part in the process.

As much as I may think my opinion is the correct one, it wasn’t the first thing on my mind as I went to bed. It was the words of Ephesians 5:22, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord”. By not agreeing with my husband, I modelled confusion and invited the tormenter to put questions in my children’s minds. I am one of their most significant role models throughout the early years of their lives, and I felt deeply convicted that my husband was not the only person I let down.

“As the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” (v.24). This is hard to read in 2025, and yet modern woke parenting is as unhelpful as disagreement. There is confusion everywhere as our culture argues against the ways of God. The world we live in does not value God’s perfect plan. If I am saying one thing to my children, and my husband says another, then they begin to ask questions because it doesn’t make sense to them. These are the kinds of questions children might ask their mates at school, or Google or Tik-Tok, or maybe someone they respect like their Chappy. How can children respect their parents when they are not united, and how can children learn to live in community when collaboration and compromise are not visible in their home?

We only need to reflect on the meekness and submission of Christ to realise that submission is not a position of weakness. It is yielded strength. Like Christ, we are joining our strength together and, in so doing, we support God’s ordained structure, the family. This is not a restrictive decision, but an empowering one, because I know how much my husband loves me and gives himself up for me too (v.25). This is a Holy collaboration and God’s way of building a circle of security for now and into the future.

I know this is not going to be an easy task for an opinionated person like me, but I won’t be doing it alone. Now I have something to aim for.

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.  Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.”   Psalm 127:3-5 NIV

Anna Harris
15 January, 2025